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Not only is The Princess Bride a well-known movie, it is also my favorite movie.  As a tribute to this wonderful story here are some of my favorite quotes.

Grandson: A book?

Grandpa: That’s right. When I was your age, television was called books. And this is a special book. It was the book my father used to read to me when I was sick, and I used to read it to your father. And today I’m gonna read it to you.

The Grandson: Has it got any sports in it?

Grandpa: Are you kidding? Fencing, fighting, torture, revenge, giants, monsters, chases, escapes, true love, miracles…

The Grandson: Doesn’t sound too bad. I’ll try to stay awake.

Grandpa: Oh, well, thank you very much, very nice of you. Your vote of confidence is overwhelming.

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Grandpa: [voiceover] That day, she was amazed to discover that when he was saying “As you wish”, what he meant was, “I love you.” And even more amazing was the day she realized she truly loved him back.

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The Grandson: Is this a kissing book?

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Montoya: Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.

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Inigo Montoya: [pushing his way through a crowd] Excuse me… Pardon me, Please it’s important… Fezzik, please?

Fezzik: EVERYBODY MOVE!
[everybody clears a path]

Inigo Montoya: Thank you.

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Westley: Hear this now: I will always come for you.

Buttercup: But how can you be sure?

Westley: This is true love – you think this happens every day?

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[Buttercup kisses the senile King]

The King: What was that for?

Buttercup: Because you have always been so kind to me, and I won’t be seeing you again since I’m killing myself once we reach the honeymoon suite.

The King: Won’t that be nice. She kissed me!

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Vizzini: A word, my lady. We are but poor, lost circus performers. Is there a village nearby?

Buttercup: There is nothing nearby… Not for miles.

Vizzini: Then there will be no one to hear you scream.

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Inigo Montoya: That Vizzini, he can *fuss*.

Fezzik: Fuss, fuss… I think he like to scream at *us*.

Inigo Montoya: Probably he means no *harm*.

Fezzik: He’s really very short on *charm*.

Inigo Montoya: You have a great gift for rhyme.

Fezzik: Yes, yes, some of the time.

Vizzini: Enough of that.

Inigo Montoya: Fezzik, are there rocks ahead?

Fezzik: If there are, we all be dead.

Vizzini: No more rhymes now, I mean it.

Fezzik: Anybody want a peanut?

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Vizzini: What? Probably some local fisherman, out for a pleasure cruise, at night… in… eel-infested waters…

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[Vizzini has just cut the rope The Dread Pirate Roberts is climbing up]

Vizzini: HE DIDN’T FALL? INCONCEIVABLE.

Inigo Montoya: You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.

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Inigo Montoya: I do not mean to pry, but you don’t by any chance happen to have six fingers on your right hand?

Man in Black: Do you always begin conversations this way?

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Inigo Montoya: You seem a decent fellow. I hate to kill you.

Man in Black: You seem a decent fellow. I hate to die.

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Count Rugen: Ah. Are you coming down into the pit? Wesley’s got his strength back. I’m starting him on the machine tonight.

Prince Humperdinck: [sincerely] Tyrone, you know how much I love watching you work, but I’ve got my country’s 500th anniversary to plan, my wedding to arrange, my wife to murder and Guilder to frame for it; I’m swamped.

Count Rugen: Get some rest. If you haven’t got your health, then you haven’t got anything.


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Vizzini: I can’t compete with you physically, and you’re no match for my brains.

Man in Black: You’re that smart?

Vizzini: Let me put it this way. Have you ever heard of Plato, Aristotle, Socrates?

Man in Black: Yes.

Vizzini: Morons.

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Man in Black: Life is pain, Highness. Anyone who says differently is selling something.

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Buttercup: We’ll never survive.

Westley: Nonsense. You’re only saying that because no one ever has.

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Prince Humperdinck: Surrender.

Westley: You mean you wish to surrender to me? Very well, I accept.

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Buttercup: You can’t hurt me. Westley and I are joined by the bonds of love. And you cannot track that, not with a thousand bloodhounds, and you cannot break it, not with a thousand swords.

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Inigo Montoya: Let me ‘splain.
[pause]
Inigo Montoya: No, there is too much. Let me sum up. Buttercup is marry’ Humperdinck in a little less than half an hour. So all we have to do is get in, break up the wedding, steal the princess, make our escape… after I kill Count Rugen.

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Westley: What are our liabilities?

Inigo Montoya: There is but one working castle gate, and… and it is guarded by 60 men.

Westley: And our assets?

Inigo Montoya: Your brains, Fezzik’s strength, my steel.

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Westley: Give us the gate key.

Yellin: I have no gate key.

Inigo Montoya: Fezzik, tear his arms off.

Yellin: Oh, you mean *this* gate key.

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Westley: Can you move at all?

Buttercup: Move? You’re alive. If you want I can fly.

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The Impressive Clergyman: Mawage. Mawage is wot bwings us togeder tooday. Mawage, that bwessed awangment, that dweam wifin a dweam. And wuv, tru wuv, will fowow you foweva. So tweasure your wuv.

Prince Humperdinck: Skip to the end.

The Impressive Clergyman: Have you the wing? … And do you, Pwincess Buwwercup…

Prince Humperdinck: Man and wife. Say man and wife.

The Impressive Clergyman: Man an’ wife.

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Vizzini: You’re trying to kidnap what I’ve rightfully stolen.

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[Buttercup and Westley have just entered the Fire Swamp]

Westley: [looking around] It’s not that bad.

[Buttercup stares unbelievingly at him]

Westley: Well, I’m not saying I’d like to build a summer home here, but the trees are actually quite lovely.

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Grandpa: Since the invention of the kiss there have been five kisses that were rated the most passionate, the most pure. This one left them all behind. The End.

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Miracle Max: [Lifts and drops the arm of the dead Westley] I’ve seen worse.

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Miracle Max: He probably owes you money huh? I’ll ask him.

Inigo Montoya: He’s dead. He can’t talk.

Miracle Max: Whoo-hoo-hoo, look who knows so much. It just so happens that your friend here is only MOSTLY dead. There’s a big difference between mostly dead and all dead. Mostly dead is slightly alive. With all dead, well, with all dead there’s usually only one thing you can do.

Inigo Montoya: What’s that?

Miracle Max: Go through his clothes and look for loose change.

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Grandpa: And as they reached for each other…

[stops reading]

The Grandson: What? What?

Grandpa: Ah, it’s kissing again. You don’t want to hear that.

The Grandson: I don’t mind so much.

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